Safe - Sane - Consensual
Master David

Developing the Slave Mind-Set

Master David

Defining the Relationship: Becoming a voluntary slave in a BDSM relationship can mean very different things. Total or partial power exchange? Full time? Part time? Sex slave? Favorite pet? Household slave? Torture slave? Some combination? Total, no limits slave? Will it be a caring or harsh relationship? Something else? Regardless of the details, all share a common theme – giving up some or all control of your life to a Master - perhaps me.

Giving up control sounds easy when you first think of it. Perhaps even sexually exciting, which, when you think of it further, doesn’t fit. Slavery is all about meeting my needs, not your own, isn’t it? If you need to be sexually excited by the idea of total submission, is it true slavery and can it really work?

In truth, a voluntary Master/slave (M/s) relationship must be a two-way street. Both partners (not equal, but still partners) must get what they need out of the relationship, or it quickly crosses the line into true abuse. We don’t want to go there.

Submitting fully to Me or any decent Master brings certain rewards. It means you are in my “care.” You are freed to live in the moment, following my rules, performing assigned tasks, focusing only on My needs. In some ways, it’s like being a child again. An M/s relationship can provide at least temporary relief from work and family stress.

Yes, this means I am taking on a great deal of responsibility. It’s not all sex and discipline. Especially in a full-time relationship, I must consider what’s best for my slaves in all areas – food, medical care, emotional support, education, training, recreation, employment, sex, discipline, and more. Even if I wish to create the illusion of being used without regard for the slave, these things must still be considered.

An M/s relationship could be lonely for both Master and slave. If a slave is truly being used without regard for feelings or needs, there will be little or no emotional connection. Personally, I could not live with this sort of relationship long-term. I will control my slave, but I also believe that a contented slave is better able to serve. A slave should love and worship its Master, and the Master should at least care about the slave’s well-being, both long and short term.

Thinking Like a Slave:  This doesn’t come naturally for most people, even submissives. You may have a submissive personality, but taking the next step into a true slave mindset requires adjustments. You must give away all control, trust Me with your safety, and make your life all about pleasing Me. I must be the sole reason you exist – to serve My needs while letting me decide what's best for you. To you, your needs have no real importance now. You get to cum when it pleases Me. You pleasure Me when I want it. If I decide to punish you for failing in some way, or just to amuse myself, you must go willingly, knowing that it will please Me. Anything that falls within our pre-agreed limits is fair game.

Acquiring this mindset will require some training, both by your Master and on your own. The best way to get started is to constantly imagine yourself in the relationship, doing what you’re told and working hard to please me. Picture every imaginable scenario. Feel yourself letting go, reacting automatically to My commands. Practice ignoring your own needs and using proper slave manners. Do it over and over until it feels natural and automatic.

I will use other techniques to train your mind, including encouragement, instruction, and discipline when needed. Imagine those situations, too. Feel the pain and absorb it, knowing it is intended either to improve your performance or please your Master.

If you find your resolve or focus wavers, repeat this slave mantra over and over to yourself or out loud. “I am a slave, my Master’s property. My mind and body are His. I exist only to serve and please Him.” Believe it with your very soul. Make it part of your being.

Slave "Ownership" Contracts: A slave contract is not legally binding – it can’t be. It serves only as an informal agreement between two consenting persons and should state as much. However, it might be instrumental in helping prove free will if it ever comes to that. Contracts also serve an essential purpose by defining the scope and limits of the relationship so that both Master and slave will know what is expected. A well written and accurate contract will contribute greatly to the success of the relationship.

The contract should clearly define the areas of control or freedom, any specific or general limits, and all expectations of both parties. It must be detailed and clear enough to reduce potential for conflict. Masters should be careful not to put any pressure on a slave during the writing process. Every aspect of the agreement must reflect the slave’s free will in signing. A signing statement to that effect should be included, e.g. “I, the undersigned, enter into this agreement of my own free will and without duress.”

Once signed, both Master and slave should re-read it often, both to refresh memory and to discover any areas in need of change or clarification. Contracts must include a mechanism for slaves to bring up any concerns or issues without breaching slave manners.

Your contract can also help you along in the process of becoming a true slave. It’s a clearly marked point of change in your life, a stepping from one side of a line to another, a formal handing over of control. A new beginning.